Thesis progress / Be unreasonable in doing everything / The next court case / How to…

You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him discover it in himself. Galileo Galilei

Thesis progress

I finally managed to meet my thesis advisor, professor Edward Crawley. He is such a busy man. We talked on my thesis for maybe 30 minutes (minus the time other people came and talked with him about other things). After I had explained my work on the thesis so far, he said that the results are definitely useful for his needs in thinking and teaching systems architecting. He said that I should just go on writing and finish the thesis. Great. I will do that during the next 2 weeks or so. The writing is so easy, and has been very easy for the last few days.
To celebrate, I had a cup of coffee at the Miracle of Science and played some pinball (Two Towers). Now, it is back to working in the systems architecting homework. Or it will be once our team convenes.

Be unreasonable in doing everything

If one tries to do everything unreasonably much, one ends up doing everything in reasonable and balanced amount. This is my way of living. I try to study too much, write blog too much, read books too much, drink wine too much, etc. The end result is a pleasant balance in my life. I really do recommend this way of living to everyone else. Moderation is a direct way to ruin and misery.

The next court case

The next big court case will be some class action against manufacturers of energy drinks. First, they all know, and even admit, that their products are addictive. Second, it is just too tempting for lawyers not to sue the companies at the first hint that some teenager had a few too many energy drinks (and some guns, but gun companies have been exempted from any liabilities) and do some nasty things. Or, for some people just loose their sleep after drinking too many energy drinks. After all, why should such drug dealing be allowed to continue while the war on drugs is still on? Just sue them and send some proceeds to me.

How to save GM

Some UAW-official told in NPR how to save GM. "Just run all the factories at 100% capacity. Retire 2000 employees. Make cars that sell". Simple! At Delphi, things are going just great. The management is trying to cut more than 70% of the salaries of the employees. That would save some money, for sure. The management has also negotiated itself some $100 million per year in recurring bonuses for the simple reason that if they do not get the bonuses, they will leave the company, which they have just managed to run in to near-bankruptcy. I think it is just fair to pay them the $100 million annually for such a spectacular level of continuos achievement. And when Delphi really goes down, the management will leave for very well earned retirement and it will be all employees fault for they did not agree to cut their salaries in time. Unemployment and food stamps will serve them just right.

Free ideas for extra revenue for airlines

Ok, let me then provide some further revenue ideas for the airlines.

• $1 for washing hands, $5 for actually using the toilet
• $5 for using the reading light.
• $5 for headphones (rent)
• $5 per inlight movie
• $7 for using the air blower
• $2 per piece of check-in luggage
• $5 per piece of hand (cabin) luggage
• $0.5 per one kilogram of passenger over 50 kg - let the fat pay more
• $8 dollars for permission to bring own food or drink to airliner
• $2 for bringing own newspapers to the airliner
• $2 per newspaper (rent, not selling)
• $200 for a personal lifevest - it is unnecessary anyway

Now, this could easily make some tens of extra dollars of revenue per each passenger. Of course, introducing such fees cannot happen at once. Instead, the airlines must take them in to use one by one. We have already seen, that once the first airline is courageous enough to introduce new fees, the other are compelled to follow. There is such a huge want of competent managers in the airline industry that copy-paste management is the order of the day. I am sure they will implement some of my ideas in the very near future.

Of course, most of the new fees would have innovative names and justifications. For example, luggage handling fee (a tip for the hauling personnel, which would also eliminate the need for paying them any salaries), passenger weight management fee (includes free emails from the "Airline chapter of weight watchers"), infection prevention fee (toilet related), clearing support (for newspapers, and again eliminating the need for paying the cleaning personnel), etc. Such names and justifications are available for $100000 per item from the "MJK-advertisement and management strategy consulting" (incorporated). Interested airlines can contact by email.

Alun perin julkaistu kuukausikoosteessa "Blogs November 2005".